'A portrait a week of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013'
Pappa Bear bought his lil' man a classic Tonka trencher. Just 'cause. It makes me swoon watching him love his son with such respect and admiration.
Heart of a Lion
...and the hands of a mother. Therese said this at the workshop. I didn't quite understand it's meaning until this past weekend.
The hands of a mother - a nurturer, a warm touch, forgiveness and acceptance. But the heart of a lion - to persevere, overcome, stand up...straight - for what you believe in. Courage.
The events of this weekend were deeply personal and painful. But as most life lessons, they can destroy you or make you stronger. I will opt for stronger. I don't know if it's age that has brought me this wisdom or just my past life experiences, but I am grateful that it has sustained its course through all of this. You can choose to be dragged down by the past - which are only memories of the mind. You can choose to be fooled by hope which lies only in the imagination. Or you can choose reality. The now.
I will live here. The now. It is sometimes the most unsettling, but the most sincere and honest. I wish I could vent about all of this, but my heart is on my sleeve for only one person other than myself and I choose him to hold that sacred and will continue to do so.
I write this to encourage others, no matter the situation - look deep within yourself when things seem impossible. When your world crumbles at your feet. Look deeply into your heart. Find your heart of a lion and always keep your hands palms up, warm and loving, not cold and callused. Calluses break and bleed over and over again - they have memories.
I apologize for these esoteric ramblings. I hope they strike a chord in whoever encounters them. These words - this sanctuary I created through this is healing for me and the people I love around me. And that, to me, is priceless.
photo credit unknown, discovered on pinterest
06/52
'A portrait a week of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013'
Soren skipping naps and still playful. He's such a trooper! I'm adding this one - it's just too cute not to include!
Hot Cocoa
I LOVE hot cocoa.
Today it snowed. Not just any snow. Those big snow flakes that leave you staring out the window in wonder. How are they SO big? How do they make it to the ground in one fragile piece?
I guess it's almost like motherhood. I flashed back to the workshop and the moment I saw my little man again after three intense days. How did he get SO big? How did this little fragile life make it into the world through my body?
So it was time to venture outside in the snow storm. Soren had a blast! And of course, when we came back in from the cold - it was time for some hot cocoa.
With some Ghirardelli Hot Cocoa and Snowville Creamery milk - Soren and I made some cocoa with Noi Sirius dark chocolate shaved on top. Happy Snow day!
Becoming a Doula
This weekend I am becoming a Doula. NOT:
a practitioner...
a partner...
a nurse...
or a family member.
Sorry - just practicing. I am becoming an advocate for the baby and for mom. For her partner and for the birth experience they would like to have. I am opening myself up to work within our current medical system. A system that is originally designed to aid in the birthing process but due to lack of research and inappropriately used tools has become a place of fear for birthing mothers. I would like to share this quote from Rachel Swan Design:
“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” -Ben Okri
I saw this quote this morning; it resonated with me so strongly. This weekend has been akin to laboring. Our instructor warned of us this. I feel as if I am re-experience parts of my labor with Soren and wondering, questioning, getting angry and then feeling calm with these empowering women around me. I know, now - why labor's need doulas. Doulas can be an essential part of the laboring process.
We are not designed to labor alone, in stirrups, legs wide open on our backs. I could expound on this for days. The pregnancy is something of joy and beauty - a time to educate, learn - feel safe. Postpartum is about support, rest, recovery and discovery - of this little, precious life that was just brought into the world.
I am bursting with positive birthing energy - there is so much to tell, but to avoid being long winded, I will post some photos instead. Our workshop is taking place in a beautiful space designed for yoga practice. There are hanging plants, positive energy and a circle of women I will never forget.
Much more to come. Thank you Peyton for sharing your belly and baby with us for palpitating and fetoscope monitoring and allowing me to snap a couple photos of that beautiful belly!