This is not going to shed the most positive light on my parenting skills, but here it goes:

I yelled tonight (Soren's yelling gasp above is a positive one - kiddo LOVES his spinach smoothies after a nap!).  It was my fault - but I did.  And to top it off, it was over food.  I know some of you might be gasping and others rolling their eyes, but either way - this is NOT the way we do things in this household.  We talk, calm down before speaking with one another, we respect one another.  We don't scream.  Now, I know Soren is just a few months outside of turning 2 and his tantrums are pretty stellar, but we have been working on triggers to get him to communicate instead.  Why this grown adult couldn't pull it together tonight?  Is beyond me.

It started with dinner.  The past couple days have been tough with food - when most haven't up to this point.  I have posted, instagramed and enjoyed all the crazy, tasty - nutritous things Soren has devoured and now - he's 2.  And he is opinionated.  But my delisional self thought we would be different.  I thought making his baby food, nursing and cooking avidly in the kitchen - with him by my side would askew any 'picky' qualities of a typical toddler.  I was wrong.  He is going to have his days - and tonight was one of them. 

I made this fantastic kale and potato soup with Kroeger and Son's Italian chicken sausage (devine...really!).  I thought for certain he would eat it up.  But he wouldn't even try it - the salad, however?  Three servings!  Way to go almond slivers, spinach and feta cheese!  Now, I don't believe in bartering so there is no 'eat your dinner or you don't get dessert' nonesense, but I did think, maybe - distraction?  So I got the iPad and let him play 'trucks' as I tried to sneak a few bites in his mouth - just to get a taste.  Soren finally got fed up with my 'please'ing and having a spoon in his peripheral, that he stood up on the chair, picked up the bowl, gave me a scowl and chucked the soup at me.

I lost it.  'Soren Paul, that is E-NOUGH!'  I yelled (what does that even mean?!).  I did it.  And I knew, as soon as that scowl turned to fear what I had done.  He ran to me and I picked him up and immediately started apologizing.  I laid him in his bedroom to calm down while I cleaned up.  I heard a light pitter patter and turned around.  He looked at me sincerely and said very quietly 'sorry...'.  I picked him up and gave him the biggest snuggle I could.  I felt awful.  Still do.  But I learned my lesson and could afford to use that Daniel Tiger trigger on myself sometimes (in a singing voice, 'when you get so mad that you want to ROAR! Take a deep breath... and count to four: 1, 2, 3...4').  I don't think it's Soren being terrible at 2, it's me.  This year is about working on my patience and respect.  Loving my family unconditionally is easy.  But respecting and being patient with one another is a different story.

The night wasn't all lost though (over our short lived 15 minute drama).  Soren helped me make some homemade maple-vanilla frozen yogurt.  Love that guy so much!