Whew. Wow. It's been awhile.
I'm glad I have waited though. It's been a huge year for us; for me. I've been a stay-at-home parent for a year and half now and I'm starting to finally feel comfortable in those shoes. I'm getting there - although never really knowing if I will ever be completely there. Accepting that indecisiveness seems like the greater portion of the battle.
It's been a year of homeownership trials and tribulations. Parenting woes and successes. Marriage earthquakes and rainbows - you get the idea. It's been a lot. We are a family of 6, 7 including our pup (although she sleeps the majority of the time). Our little world feels epic most times, but is just that. Little.
Our country and the world has seen changes - trials and tribulations, woes and successes, earthquakes, rainbows, floods and more on scales much larger than these four walls hold. But that doesn't mean these four walls are not capable of epic change. This is what brings me back to pen and paper - keyboard and screen rather.
I wrote a blog size Facebook post a few days ago (bleh - my face goes green on two levels, 1 - becoming a keyboard warrior and 2 - I wrote something lengthy and heartfelt on social media for everyone to see - yikes, not my style) about the safety of our schools. Or rather, my disturbed and saddened take on the situation. I couldn't take it. There've been so many posts and shared pages about gun legislation - how Congress isn't going far enough or doing the right things or arming teachers is a bad idea - or a good idea, etc.... It's over whelming.
As a stay-at-home parent, not once - ONCE have I seen a post about the significance of child rearing. How we've abandoned it. There is no financial benefit to a parent quitting a career to be home, rearing their children - in fact, quite the opposite. Home to hear their woes, frustrations, issues in school, cyber bullying. To speak with them about vengeance, love, hate - the emotions that fuel the turmoil that causes ANY human to act out in violence. How many families still sit at the dinner table every evening? Show of hands? Ours.
This is my job. This is my duty. To be here for them. I am not an educator - I am not a teacher. I am an environment. And aren't we all just that? A product of our environment?
Slow down. Soak it in. Take a moment to reflect on what our true core values are in this country. What have we abandoned - logic, love, compassion, kindness, foundation, community; the village. What have we adopted - greed, negligence, entitlement, privacy, fear, piety - pride.
Large million dollar houses or a community filled with love and compassion. Not without it's faults and crime. But a dedication to a great good - a larger picture.
A few months ago I came across a collection of videos I've had since Orion's birth. They are beautiful to me. And each time I watch it, I am reminded of why I gave up my 12 year career, my final Grammy Nomination nod - they are worth every moment. Being there for them in anyway I can - and they for me. This is our family. We treasure all of it - the core to extended to surrogate.
I look forward to posting more in the future. Stay tuned and please engage.