Time

Work, life, balance - what?!  Forget about it.  That single phrase brings me SO MUCH GUILT!  Guilt that I can't balance enough to work and be home with my kids.  As a SAHM (Stay-at-home Mom), I still can't manage to get a blog or vlog or etsy store or WHATEVER up and at 'em each day.  But here's the thing - it's not about 'balance', but satiation.  

 O is strapped in his Ergo carrier, you can't see him - but can see his board!  More on that in another post (I've got videos to compile!).  Our first year snowboarding says everything about balance vs satiation.  Snowboarding is about balance but even the falls can be satiating.  There is a lesson in every single one.  This tested all of us and our ability to persevere.  And to do it as a family.  I wouldn't trade it for the world and we all look forward to the snow next year!

O is strapped in his Ergo carrier, you can't see him - but can see his board!  More on that in another post (I've got videos to compile!).  Our first year snowboarding says everything about balance vs satiation.  Snowboarding is about balance but even the falls can be satiating.  There is a lesson in every single one.  This tested all of us and our ability to persevere.  And to do it as a family.  I wouldn't trade it for the world and we all look forward to the snow next year!

What satiates my personhood?  Here's a few things:

Rhythm.  I just watched this fantastic live video about 'rhythm'.  For some it may be 'routine'.  Either way - it's vital in my life and my kids.  I see the benefits of it in our household.  Weekday mornings around here have a beautiful rhythm:

6a Wake with toddler - make lunches, coffee, breakfast (sometimes I get ready during this time) - 7a Dad home from work - 7:20/30a older boys awaken (dress, make their beds and come down for breakfast) - 7:50/8a Brush teeth and get book bags ready for school/mom gets ready for the day - 8:20/30 leave for school.  

 This is from our evening rhythm.  The boys read for 15-20 minutes each night before bed.  We just recently altered this - O used to go to bed, he now joins them.

This is from our evening rhythm.  The boys read for 15-20 minutes each night before bed.  We just recently altered this - O used to go to bed, he now joins them.

The boys have time to play after packing their bags and before we leave for school.  It's a sight to see.  They know:  wake - dress - beds - breakfast - teeth - bags - play.  It's amazing.  And I love it.  They are confident, secure and independent - happy.

I like to read.  I am learning to take time out to read.  One of my favorite things to read about?  Parenting.  I know - huge shocker.  I now keep a book in the car door for just that reason (and knitting in the center console) when waiting in the epic car pick up line.  My current read - Masterminds and Wingmen.  Highly recommend whether you have boys or not.

Writing.  I love to write.  Communicating is paramount for me.  One of the things that brought the hubs and I together.  We are both talkers.  And this space allows me to do that.  Which is why I am back.  It's going to take awhile to get back into this rhythm - but I am looking forward to it!

Grace is last.  But most definitely not least.  Granting myself the grace to rest.  To fall asleep and take time.  Just because I am a SAHM, doesn't mean I have to work on the house, this family, the kids, etc... until my bones ache and I can't stand any longer.  I quit my job and career so I could minimize stresses in my life, making room to be a whole self.  For the kids, my husband - and me.  It's something I think a lot of SAHMs have difficulty with and can lead to some intense bouts of depression.  

 Perfect example.  I was doing dishes when this was happening.  Trent had just gotten home from hunting and O was elated to see him (as usual).  He promptly brought over a book for Dad to read, which also required many kisses and squeezes.  This man misses his kids SO much when he's away.  I am grateful for his doting, uncensored LOVE for the kids.  I stopped - dishes could wait.  I needed to hold on to this moment.

Perfect example.  I was doing dishes when this was happening.  Trent had just gotten home from hunting and O was elated to see him (as usual).  He promptly brought over a book for Dad to read, which also required many kisses and squeezes.  This man misses his kids SO much when he's away.  I am grateful for his doting, uncensored LOVE for the kids.  I stopped - dishes could wait.  I needed to hold on to this moment.

Working outside the home brought me anxiety, but being at home - secluded from adulthood, immersed in parent and spousal responsibilities accompanied with the never lightening load of guilt when taking time out can result in the mind dipping into a dark, dark place.  That's when grace for self comes into play.  Something I work desparetly on each day.

What do you think of 'balance'?  Do you feel like grace could play a bigger part in your life?  What are some of your must do's/have's?