The last three days have been especially trying. I feel like my fuse has been super short and unfortunately Rick is at the end of it. I don't know how many more times I can apologize to him - I feel awful about it. I fidget and pick fights about the silliest things. Why the last three days?
The week before I was on 'vacation'. It's in quotes because like most of my vacations - I still had to go into the office (briefly) and still had to work from home. Not really a vacation, but I didn't have any rehearsals or concerts and didn't have to go into the office regularly. I went back to work (a day earlier than planned...) on Wednesday. Then it started.
Back to bringing work home and feeling looming deadlines while trying to give Soren my undivided attention. Back to working while trying to schedule dinner and errands for the evening before the big 'baby swap'. Yes - I try scheduling meals for the week, but it NEVER works (does anything work well for you? Help?!). And with my job - I really begin to feel as if I am at the will of a whole slew of other people. I am beginning to think my pseudonym should be 'damage control' (currently, it's Batman. 'Central Parkway Salad and Small Latte with almond milk for....er...Batman!')
I fix performances, take out coughs, put people in rooms they didn't perform in, edit VO's, EQ voices so they will translate on radio, fix library numbers - not to mention, clean paint out of carpet, mop up water spills in the bathroom, put the books back on the shelf for the 20th time, choose a sensory play activity and oh yeah! fix dinner.
I'm exhausted. Which brings me to this point - is it my patience that I am losing or is loss of sleep causing me to be more impatient? It's both. I need to get more rest BUT I also need to change my frame of reference or perspective. I like this quick article - it really struck a chord with me. I like the idea of my walls being like Jello - more flexible. and I especially like the idea of getting 7-8 hours of sleep. My goal is to create some kind of structure or schedule to help me be a more patient respectful partner and mother.
Do you have an unpredictable/erratic schedule? How do you cope with work and motherhood?
image courtesy of scriptmag.com
